When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!" Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword.

A large RV spirals through the air, caught in the midst of a tornado. Josh Konnely looks out the window to see cows, chicken, sheep, and various debris spiraling by as they are all caught in the twister's powerful grip. A man that appears to be Big T- though strangely more green- pedals by on a bicycle and lets out a shrill, cackling laugh.

They must be a hundred or more feet in the air as the incredible wind- far beyond measure- launches them farther and farther into the darkened afternoon sky. Below them in the distance, a rainbow slowly begins to form as the sun peeks out from behind the clouds. At long last the tornado dissipates, and the recreational vehicle- along with all the other victims of the storm- begins to plummet back to earth.

Josh Konnely braces himself for impact- moving clear of the windows- as his RV slams to the ground. He breathes a sigh of relief as all movement stops. A small smile crosses his face as he sees bright sunlight now shining through the windows.

"Looks like that's over with, thank God."

Josh cautiously opens the door of the RV and steps out into the grass. A little dark gray Scottish Terrier runs out alongside him. The door slams shut, echoing through the bright daylight. Konnely appears confused as he realizes that the ground is completely dry for as far as the eye can see. As Josh ponders this oddity in his mind, hundreds of midgets resembling a cross between Oompa Loompas and Smurfs come rushing out.

"Is it true?" one of the midgets says.

"Is it really, really true? says another.

"It is! It is!" chimes in a third.

"The Bitch is dead! The Bitch is dead!" rejoices a fourth.

"Hey, don't you little pricks break into song on me. What the Hell do you little hobbits want, anyway? Who is dead? Who are you sick people?"

The tallest of the "little people" steps forward. He appears to be their mayor, as he is wearing a suit and top hat.

"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. We are the Minis, and you have landed in Miniland. If you look behind you, you will see that your strange vehicle has landed on the evil Wicked Bitch of the West, who has terrorized and oppressed our people for years. You are our hero!"

"Oh, am I? I don't believe it."

"Take a look for yourself."

Josh turns and sees a single contorted leg sticking out from under the recreational vehicle. He grabs the leg and pulls out the person to whom it belongs. The man appears to be Anthony Jesus, except that his face is green and he is dressed in black robes. Both of his legs appear to be badly broken, and blood is pouring from his mouth. His neck has been snapped, and likely several ribs have been broken. The Wicked Bitch is most definitely dead. Josh looks at the dog.

"I don't think we're in Connecticut anymore, Dodo."

Konnely turns to the Mayor.

"This is ridiculous. How do I get the Hell out of here?"

"If you must go, all you have to do is follow the Golden Brick road to the Golden City. There is a powerful sorcerer there who will be able to send you back where you came from."

At exactly that moment, a glowing orb appears in the sky and floats in their direction.

"It's her!"

"It's Blinda!"

The orb lights down on the red road in front of Josh and behind the Mini Mayor. The glow fades until finally the woman identified as Blinda- who bares a striking resemblance to SFT ring announcer Robyn Byrne- becomes visible.

"If you are heading to the Golden City, I can assist you."

"Wait just a cotton-picking second. Who in the PINK Hell are you?

"I am Blinda. I am a Witch."

"Oh, I see. Are you a Good Witch or a Bad Witch?"

"I don't understand your question."

"Forget it. How on Earth do you expect to help ME? What is this place, anyway?"

"Why, this is Deadwood. And if you wish to see the all-powerful Sorcerer of Deadwood, I can give you a powerful weapon to help you on your quest."

"Fine, whatever. As long as it'll get me out of here faster."

The Good Witch of the North, Blinda, waves her magic wand and a massive two-handed sword appears in Josh's right hand. Konnely nearly drops it, since he had no way to anticipate or prepare for its weight on his arm. He grabs the hilt with both hands and raises it up over his head.

"That is the sword of the Wicked Bitch of the West. It possesses great and terrible magic powers. His brother, the Wicked Bitch of the East will want it. You must not let him have it."

A loud audible pop interrupts the presentation and impromptu festivities. A cloud of black smoke billows on a nearby rooftop. When it clears, the Wicked Bitch of the East can be seen hovering a couple feet above the roof. He looks just like Big T, but with green skin just as we saw on his brother. He is holding a push broom and wearing the same black robes his brother wore. The Wicked Bitch of the East cackles wickedly.

"There is nothing you can do to stop me! Weak human! You may have killed my brother, but I will have my vengeance! In fact, you did me a favor! Once I have that sword, I will become even MORE powerful!"

The body of the wicked Bitch of the West fades into nothing as the Wicked Bitch of the East laughs again.

"Now, hand over that sword to me and MAYBE I will consider letting you all LIVE!"

"NEVER! I will never back down to the likes of you! You want power?! I will SHOW you POWER!"

Josh points the sword at the house above which the Bitch is floating. Immediately a jet flies over the house and drops a single bomb on the building. The bomb explodes on impact, blowing the building to oblivion. Wood and concrete and body parts rain down on the gathered crowd. Another cloud of smoke appears in a nearby tree, as the Wicked Bitch of the East managed to teleport himself out of harm's way just in time.

"You SCUM! That was our HOSPITAL! We had newborn babies, sick children, and elderly in that building! The Popsicle Guild was tending to them!" cries one of the Minis, glaring at Josh.

"You killed them, you bastard! You're a DEMON!" shouts another.

"Oh, please! Did you really think I gave a rat's ass about this God-forsaken Hell hole? All I want is to go home. Your meaningless lives mean nothing to me! War has come to Deadwood!"

Up in the tree, the Wicked Bitch of the East goes wide-eyed in horror. He hisses, then disappears in a final cloud of smoke. His voice bellows from the smoke.

"Curse you! I'll get you, Konnely, and your little dog, too!

There is silence at last. The Minis begin to throw pebbles at Josh, and a few grab pitchforks and other makeshift weapons.

"So, you said I had to follow the Golden Brick road, right? Very well. It was a pleasure meeting you all. Thank you very much for all your help."

Josh Konnely looks around and spots a wide highway literally laid with solid twenty-four karat gold bars. He grins as he steps onto the walk. He begins to march down the road, with Minis chasing after him in vain. Their wrath soon gets turned against each other, as they begin to fight amongst themselves probably for the first time ever. Flames shoot up into the sky as violence erupts all around Miniland. Konnely marches on proudly and triumphantly.

Josh pauses as he comes to a fork in the Golden Brick Road.

"Hm. Which way to go?"

"That way is nice."

"Who said that?

"That way is nice, too."

"Who are you? Where are you?"

"Of course, some people do go both ways."

"You sick freak! Show yourself!"

At last Josh spots a scarecrow hanging from a pole.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"Yes. And could you get me down from here? My back is killing me."

Josh simply waves the sword, and the scarecrow is magically cut down. He falls hard to the ground, but hops right up to his feet.

"Thank you so much, kind traveler. I've been hanging there for years. Perhaps I can help you now? I am the Hayman, by the way."

"I was told to go see the Sorcerer of Deadwood, and that he would send me home."

"You're going to see the Sorcerer? Oh, might I please accompany you? You see, I have no brain. If I went to the Golden City, maybe the sorcerer would give me a brain."

"I would ask how you are talking if you haven't got a brain, but I know plenty of brainless people who do an awful lot of talking. Especially in my line of work. You know the problem with brainless people? They're always looking for someone else to fix all their problems for them, rather than bettering themselves and EARNING their way. I have no use for brainless people."

Josh waves the sword again, and the Hayman screams in agony as he bursts into flames from the inside. His straw and clothing burn and crumble into a heap. Konnely grins as he continues on his way, Dodo trotting along at his side.

Later, Dodo runs up ahead and begins barking at a bush. Josh cringes at the little dog's shrill, yipping bark, until a lion jumps out of the bush. Dodo continues to bark at the lion, and the dog growls. With a sudden weak roar, the lion snaps its jaws at Dodo, barely missing the little terrier. Dodo runs away with his little tail between his little legs, and jumps into Josh's arms.

"You're a monster! Who do you think you are, bullying someone so much smaller than you?!"

The lion stands up on its hindlegs like a person, and grabs its tail in its front paws. With quick strides, Josh closes the gap and slaps the lion across the face. The lion begins to cry.

"God, you really are a coward, aren't you?"

"YES!" sobs the lion.

"Everyone calls me the Chickenshit Lion." he confesses.

"If only you could come with me to the Golden City. Maybe the Sorcerer would give you some balls."

"That would be great!"

"Sadly, I have no use for COWARDS! You disgust me!

With one hand, Josh stabs the lion in chest, turning him into a lion-kebab. The lion falls to his knees even before Josh can pull the huge blade back out. Konnely grins sadistically as the lion crumples to the ground, painting a portion of the Golden Brick Road red with his blood.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish. Cowards deserve to die. If you ain't gonna fight, get out of the way."

Josh continues on until he sees what believes to be a tin statue of a man standing in a nearby field. The statue is holding an axe, posed as if cutting down the tree in front of him.

"Oil can."

"Say what?"

"OIL CAN!"

"Oil can what?"

Josh laughs, then sees a can of oil sitting on a nearby stump. He grabs it and oils up the statue's joints and jaw.

"Oh, thank you so very much! I was clearing a small field of trees here nearly two years ago when it started to rain, and I got rusted right there in that pose. Been standing there ever since."

"Do you happen to know about the Sorcerer of Deadwood? I was told he lives at the end of this road in the Golden City."

"You're going to see the Sorcerer?! Oh, could I please go with you?"

"why? What is your problem? What haven't you got?"

"The tinsmith who made me was a great master, but the one thing he couldn't give me was a heart. I would be so happy, if only the Sorcerer would give me a heart."

"No heart, huh? Well, I know a lot of men with no hearts. I am glad to finally meet an honest man in this Land of Deadwood. You may join me. I will see to it that you get your heart."

The tin man thanks Josh profusely, and they move along. At long last they see the Golden City on the horizon. Josh begins to sprint toward the finish line, and the tin man struggles to keep up. Minutes later, they arrive at the gates of the city. Josh bangs on the door with the hilt of his newly acquired sword.

A small slate opens in the window, and a man dressed in a golden suit and top hat peers out.

"Halt! Who goes?! State your business!"

"My name is Josh. This is the Tin Can..."

"Tin Man."

"Whatever. We seek an audience with the Sorcerer of Deadwood."

"No one may see the Sorcerer!"

The gold peephole slate slams shut. Josh bangs on the door again.

"Persistent little fucker, aren't you?" groans the man in the gold suit.

"Sir, I was blown into this demented fantasy land of yours by a tornado. The RV I was traveling in landed on this Wicked Bitch of the West guy, and now his brother's out to get me because I have his brother's sword."

"Wait, did you say you killed the Wicked Bitch's brother? Well, why didn't you say so? That's a horse of a different color!"

The slate slams shut again, and a moment later the massive golden gate swings open. A white horse is led to the gate, pulling a solid gold chariot behind. Konnely and the Tin Man step onto the chariot as the man in the gold suit greets them. The horse, now fiery red, begins to pull the chariot again.

"What is this?"

"Why, that's the horse of a different color you've heard about. He'll take to the all and powerful Deadwood."

The horse turns black as the scene fades out. When the scene fades back in, the horse is a sickly pale green similar to zombie flesh, and they are standing in a great hall that leads to the Sorcerer's chamber. The hall, like the rest of the city, is made up of solid gold: floors, walls, and even ceiling. Josh Konnely leads the Tin Man into the main chamber, and almost immediately a booming voice resounds through the massive room.

"WHO DARES DISTURB THE ALL AND POWERFUL DEADWOOD?!"

"That would be me, Josh Konnely. Two-time SFT Champion and next National Champion. That is, assuming I get home in time for tomorrow's championship match. That's what I'm here about. I need you to send me home to Connecticut so that I can make it Strike Towers Wrestling in North Carolina tomorrow night."

"GO AWAY! I CANNOT HELP YOU!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that. Either you comply with my demands, or I will be forced to level this entire city. By that point I am certain you would learn to see things my way."

"PERHAPS THERE IS A WAY. BRING ME THE PUSH BROOM OF THE WICKED BITCH OF THE EAST, AND I WILL GRANT BOTH OF YOU WHAT YOU WISHES."

Josh Konnely growls in frustration and begins to mutter to himself. The Tin Man cowers behind him. The scene fades to red.