I Don't Give A Damn

The day is Thursday September 8, 2011. The place is a fitness room inside the Ethias Arena in Hasselt, Belgium. Ring announcer Robyn Byrne enters the room, microphone in hand, and finds Josh Konnely running on a treadmill. Josh spots her as she walks in, and he quickly stops the machine. Byrne gets to Konnely just as he is getting off the treadmill.

"What's happenin', doll face?"

"Josh, it's that time once again. Titans makes it move to Thursday Nights tonight in Hasselt. And tonight you face Hellion Jr. in a match that will earn the winner a shot at the Hardcore Championship. What are your thoughts?"

"What the HELLION? Who in the BLUE HELL is Hellion Jr.?"

"I... I can't say that I..."

"Hey, I'm just messin' with you, Robyn. I don't know who Hellion Jr. is either, and I don't really care to. For that matter, if he is Hellion Junior, who is Hellion Senior?"

"His father?"

"Right you are, then. But frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. I don't give a damn about Hellion Junior. I don't give a damn about Hellion Senior. I don't even give a damn about the Hardcore Championship match."

"Not even about the championship match?"

"Not even that. Because all joking aside, the Hardcore Champion just might be the best champion in Strike Towers right now. That's nothing against Nirvana or SwitchBlade, but Johnny Legend can be even more difficult to beat, if he chooses to be so. All three are legends, but Johnny may be the best of the lot. Not that he needs the stroke, but that's my honest opinion. And in all honesty, I'm not even sure if I could take him right now. I know you saw Sound Of Violence, Robyn. That little halfling Little T gave me more trouble than that damn troll should have. I'm a former World Champion, and there I was getting toyed with and chewed on by one of the Lollipop Guild."

"Josh, I don't mean to contradict you, but you pretty much beat Little T in two moves. It doesn't get much more decisive than that."

"Oh, yeah? And what about Emerson two weeks ago? He barely tried, and yet he nearly had me beat on about five occasions. In the end, I had to defeat him with a small package. A small package, Robyn. A desperation, quick pin move. I'm a master of submissions. No one's ever going to call themselves the master of the small package. Even Randy White knows the small package isn't a real finish." "...Well, Emerson did climb a tree to rescue a cat. That was impressive, right?"

"Nice sarcasm, Robyn, I like it. I've personally never even seen a cat in a tree, unless it was on Fairly Odd Parents or Rugrats. I think even SpongeBob SquarePants saved a catfish stuck in a tree. But real life? I've never heard of it. I've never seen it in any newspaper. And I've certainly never witnessed it with my own eyes. So what are the chances Emerson would just so happen to encounter the stereotypical farce 'emergency' by happenstance- and with a camera crew on hand, no less.

Anyway, what do you say we get back to this week, shall we? Hellion wasted an opportunity last week when he was defeated by Kiba Bunson. He supposedly wanted to get this new Hybrid Championship without having to go through the allegedly upcoming tournament. If he had beaten Bunson, Hellion would have faced the tournament winner to determine the first Hybrid Champion. He was given a golden opportunity to get what he wanted, but he pissed it all away. This week it appears as though mister tough guy egomaniac 'give me the title I want and give it to me right now' Hellion Jr. is once again going arse up and pissing away another golden opportunity.

Well... it's his loss. LITERALLY.

Or at least it will be, once he sees the White Light and slips into Paradise.

Hellion, this is the word of the Prophet. May God have mercy on your soul."

Josh Konnely gives Robyn Byrne a light slap on the ass and walks away.

"Good game."

Fade to WHITE.